More Than a Size: Erasure, Access & the Politics of Plus-Size Fashion

Content warning: this episode will contain conversations around my binge eating disorder, body image, anti-fat stereotypes, socioeconomics, and how these impact folks in larger bodies, specifically within the clothing industry.

I’m finishing up this season of the show with a conversation that started in the comments of some of my TikTok videos. In one video I said: I’m sure we can all agree that the solution to a lack of sizing is not weight loss.

Well, someone didn’t agree, which is a-okay, in fact it led to a lot of richer conversations around the topic of plus size clothing; the rules we follow, the lack of sizing, the politics of plus size clothing and why some of the most anti fat people in society are former fat folks… but all that for another time.

In episode 22 we’re exploring:

• Why weight loss isn’t the solution to the lack of clothing options for folks in larger bodies
• How size bias and discrimination within clothing influences more than just the fashion industry
• My experiences growing up plus size, and the impact on my body image
• The erasure of plus size models, plus size departments and stores
• 3 reasons clothing brands don’t want to invest in the plus size market

And, at the end of the episode I have TWO calls to action for y’all, one for the fat community and one for listeners in straight sized bodies. 

I’m going to just bare my soul here; this is the kind of content I’ve always wanted to create. At the age of sixteen I had BIG dreams of working in fashion, but I guarantee you that in all those dreams I was in a smaller body. The belief that I needed to be smaller stole my dreams from me, because I believed to achieve what I wanted in life, first I had to be thin. This work heals my inner teen, the younger version of me who had no idea how to execute her dreams.

Sometimes social media and the online space can at the very least be insensitive, at its worst it causes serious harm and danger to marginalised communities. But one of the best things is that it has allowed us to find community, connection and common ground amongst some of our worst experiences.

The next season of The Culture Of It All is coming in April, and I’m deep in ideas and planning, so if you have any topics you’d like covered, or questions you want answered send me a message!

Chapters

00:00 Next Season & Fat Gurl Sticker Sale

02:56 Why Weight Loss Isn't The Solution

13:51 growing up plus size, OOTD and healing my inner teen

18:45 The Struggle To Find Your Own Style

22:15 Erasing Plus Size Bodies Within Plus Size Brands

25:35 Weight Bias, Discrimination & Stereotyping in Plus-Size Fashion

34:34 Call To Actions for Plus Sized & Straight Sized Folks

Come say 'hello' on social media!

You'll find episode content on Instagram

Looking for more conversations around the politics of fashion? Join me on TikTok

Support the show over on Substack! You'll find regular episodes along with monthly bonus episodes in our wonderful fat positive community.

Transcript

Melanie Knights (00:02)
Hello friends, welcome back to a brand new episode of The Culture Of It All! This is episode 22 and it's also our final episode of season 3. I can't believe we're already at the end of this season. It's been wonderful to plan out this content, to sit down with my microphone, have these conversations with you and to continue these conversations elsewhere afterwards. I love it.

Season 4 will be coming on April 8th, so you don't have to wait long and I do have a couple of things in between then for you to listen to. So next week I am actually releasing a special bonus episode of Confessions of a Fat Girl. That is going to be available for everybody, So even if you haven't joined us over on Substack you will get access to that episode.

And then on March 28th, I'll be releasing our season four trailer. And by our I always mean you, my wonderful listeners and I, because let's be honest, this show would not exist without each and every one of you. And I really appreciate your continued support. I appreciate it when you tag my podcast in posts on social media, when you share the episodes, when you tell people about it, it means so, so much to me.

So we have all of that coming up. Now you may remember that I shared at the end of last year, I had made a big decision, at least it felt like a big decision personally, to retire the first seven years of my business, which essentially meant for me switching my website over to Substack, closing my online shop in its current form. And

So before my website moves permanently, I am running a sale at OutlawCreatives.com and the

majority of my fat sticker sheets and vinyl stickers are on sale. Now there are some exceptions because the profit of those stickers goes to Planned Parenthood but if you would like to support my art, my creativity, buy some fat stickers, if you want to just share it with people you know who you think would really like some fat stickers, I will leave the link in the show notes. You can also view the stickers on my Instagram, on TikTok and over on the website at outlawcreatives.com forward slash shop. The sheets are perfect

for journals, notebooks, platters. They are matte paper and they're removable. You could also have people gift them in the past to clients, which is really wonderful. You could share them with friends, use them in your own journals or in whatever creative way you want to. Postage is always free and I will also be popping some freebies in every order because I have

so many journaling supplies, so much ephemera, and so I need to share it with others.

So if you would like to support a fat owned business head over to OutlawCreatives.com forward slash shop.

Okay let's get into today's episode More than a size, erasure, access and the politics of plus-size fashion. Now I do have a content warning This episode is going to contain conversations around my binge eating disorder, body image, anti-fat stereotypes,

socioeconomics and how these impact folks in larger bodies specifically within the clothing industry. You are also going to hear me use the word fat. I know I've used it before, but I use it a lot in this episode and I'm using it as a neutral descriptor. I thought this would be just a good reminder. I also will use the term plus size, larger bodies, straight size and infini fat. There is a link to an article.

the show notes which explains in greater detail the fat spectrum and all of these kind of categories, these these labels I guess.

And I highly recommend that you go take a look because this is going to help you to understand the fat spectrum. It's going to help you to understand clothing and the lack of access within clothing and what that kind of means. Because the reality is if you've never been in a larger body, if you've never had to shop a plus size section, you don't know what you don't know. Okay. So I feel like this episode today is a big opportunity to learn the things we don't know. Okay.

You will also find links over in the show notes to all of the plus size brands I mention, all the people I mention in this episode. So why did I want to do this episode? This wasn't the episode I had planned. I had an entirely other episode planned when I sat down in January, but that episode snowballed and is actually going to be the entirety of our next season. And then this episode was born.

from conversations over on TikTok. You may have seen me talking about this before. I, in the last month or so, have been sharing more of my fashion content on TikTok, I've managed to start lots of conversations around the politics behind fashion and the politics in particular in plus-size fashion, the lack of inclusivity in sizing, lack of accessibility, all of the...

erasure that's happening with plus-size models and within these brands. And this episode in particular started from one comment on one of my videos. So I made a video and in that video I said that the solution to a lack of access to sizing within plus-size clothing in particular is not weight loss, right? The solution isn't weight loss. And you probably have heard me say that before. And somebody responded and said that they don't agree, which is

fine, they do not have to agree. But I'm going to read out their response. They said, "I absolutely don't agree. I once wore an awful size 28 dress to a friend's wedding and it was the only thing I could find that would fit me. A wake-up call commenced. I lost... (I'm not going to tell you how much they lost)... It was the answer. Now I responded to this person and said, I'm really glad that you found a solution that works for you, but that's not the same for everyone. That isn't the solution.

for many, many people. And I did a whole video, well, a 60 second video responding, and this furthered the conversation. And I'm going to be really honest, and I've been a little bit surprised, it has been like 99 % positivity over there. And even the comments were a little bit negative. It's not really negative, it's like uncertain. It's a gray area.

And know that's not the universal kind of experience everybody. And I know it's probably going to change, But as someone who was really worried about showing up in that space, it's felt really great to kind of find a community there of people who want to have these conversations. So this comment really stood out to me for many reasons. And I touched on the fact in my TikTok videos that this idea of a wake up call.

Right, this idea that a wake-up call is going to lead to this, this change in body, this pursuit of weight loss. Because I think that for me, and I talk about this in one of the bonus episodes recently, for me, a defining moment in the last few years was actually not pursuing thinness, So it works both ways. And of course, this assumption,

this belief that weight loss is the solution because it's a solution for one person it should be the solution to everybody. But what I really try to unpack in these videos and of course I only get 60 seconds that isn't enough time for me which is why we're having the conversation here

And that is that this person perceives it to be a solution on a very personal level. When I talk about the fact that weight loss isn't the solution, I mean on a structural scale. Me losing weight, might make me feel better in terms of how people treat me. It might allow me to live an easier life within society. I might have more access to spaces, to clothing. I might be treated better. All of those things.

potentially true. However it doesn't change the structural and systemic issues.

And you can choose to lose weight to change the way you fit into society, but it doesn't change the policies around size discrimination in the workplace, for example. It's not going to provide better medical care for folks in larger bodies. It doesn't change the way larger bodies are stigmatized or stereotyped when they get dressed in the limited choices and they go out into the world. I mean, if you think about it, we are taught from a very young age what clothing is deemed quote, professional.

even more so here in the UK because we have school uniforms in all of our schools, which is hilarious because they're supposed to eliminate bullying but that is a whole other topic for another time. I have a lot of feelings about that one. We are told how to dress for interviews or how we should clothe our body if we want to be taken seriously by adults, leaders, managers, other professionals.

Right, so what happens for those folks who can't buy clothing that is deemed appropriate, acceptable, professional? I remember... gosh, I don't even know how many years ago it is now. I want to say at least 15 years-ish maybe, I don't know. It was a long time ago. I was looking for a job and I had applied through an agency, like a recruitment agency.

and they rang me to say I had an interview later that week and they told me to wear a suit and I was like I don't own a suit and I remember the girl on the phone saying to me well you'll just need to go to Primark and buy one and Primark is like if you don't know what Primark is Primark is a store here that is very accessibly priced so that's why she told me to go there because it's cheaper basically than most places

that wasn't even my concern. My concern was nothing in there is gonna fit me. At that point in my life, and again I can't really recall how old I was, but at that point in my life getting dressed, buying clothes was fucking disaster. I hated it. I avoided it all costs. I had a really bad relationship with my body and clothing size. So what I know now looking back is that even if clothing

bigger sizes would have fitted me. I had such a poor relationship with clothes sizes that I didn't buy clothes in bigger sizes. I just didn't buy clothes full stop. I avoided it at all costs because I had this attachment to certain sizes in my head which I'd had from childhood. I had an attachment to what size I should be. I attached my clothes size to my value and self-worth and what it meant on a bigger scale. And so this was a really kind of a very personal example of how

the assumption that I could just go to the store and buy something when I knew that the pricing wasn't even really the problem in that moment. The problem was where am I going to find something that fits me? So that's kind of what we're talking about, right?

I think the other thing we need to think about is that many, most people already hold a prejudice against larger bodies, What somebody's body can or can't do and how that would impact them, their business, their team and their bottom line. So if we're using this example of in the workplace, even going for an interview and being in a larger body, there is going to be a level of bias and prejudice.

in many or most workplaces. Now I'm using that as an example but this isn't the only place where this discrimination exists. It can exist in legal settings, medical practices, dating, relationship, it exists in everyday life. Because many folks in larger bodies have felt that need to change out of certain clothes because if they go into society in their comfies, their sweats, their athleisure wear, whatever we want to call it, we are perceived as not making an effort.

their straight-sized friend could wear the exact same thing and they'd be deemed as fashionable. Or they would just be left to mind their own fucking business.

So whilst size inclusivity is the solution, is the solution to a lack of access to clothing, I think the better question is how the fuck do we achieve that when so much of society has already written fat folks off, It doesn't want to make accommodations for us. It doesn't want us to sit next to them on a plane, right? They don't believe we deserve respect and access to the most basic forms of care.

Now I do talk about fashion on a personal level as well. You may have seen my outfits today videos. How I'm styling pieces, what I've been buying second hand from Vinted trying to find my casual style, all of those videos they're a way for me to really document my relationship with my body.

because that's a relationship that I have really struggled with over the years. I also want to hopefully show other people who have a similar body type to mine that we do actually exist and we can have a little fun with clothing. I will often try to pose to the side.

because I think it's really important to show bodies, larger bodies, in this like 360, it's really easy to forget that bodies exist in movement, that how we may feel or look when we have like a camera set up and it's like the perfect shot versus like a candid moment, I think those things can really fuck us up because we forget that.

And so I really want to show my body in movement when I do these videos so that other people can also see that they're not alone, there are more than one type of body, there's more than one type of larger body.

Creating these fashion videos and having these conversations, it also really heals my inner teen I... I've always loved fashion. And trust me, that has evolved. What that fashion has looked like has very much evolved from the late 90s, early 2000s to today. But I was thinking about this just recently and I feel like 12 year old Melanie would be really excited to know that this is what we get to do. To know that this is the kind of

creativity we get to pursue because first of all, she has no idea what social media is. But also this idea that there is now some clothing that we can actually have fun with. You know, we're now an adult who has the opportunity to buy their own clothes because I think that's a huge part of it as well.

I studied fashion in college, but I always felt like such an outsider. I was a couple of years older than most of the other students in my class. And it really was a odd time for me. I was, I was going through some shit, which that just reminded me of that Dochi song. I was going through some shit. I had just lost my dad a couple of years prior. I was kind of in this

what I now think of as this place where I was trying to figure myself out, and I was also trying to like fit in and conform and I just, I didn't know and I just wanted like, I guess some sense of like peace and normality, and I didn't find that in fashion, I didn't find that when I was studying there. It really was so competitive and I hated it. And so I just stopped doing it, I stopped.

pursuing it, I never really thought about it again. But I have really fond memories of that time, you know, I was deep in a Sex and the City phase. Carrie Bradshaw, I am still to this day obsessed with the way Patricia Field would style, in particular, Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City. I absolutely adore so much of the styling in that show, even down to the

famous pink tutu. I just think it's incredible. I went back in like, I don't know, 2004 maybe? I went to the Patricia Field store in downtown Manhattan and I bought a purple sequined bum bag, fanny pack, whatever we're calling it. I still own that fucking thing. So the fact that it still fits me is a testament to the fact that it was plus size.

Yeah, my husband hates that fanny pack, but I absolutely love it. It is so, camp. It is incredible.

So I have this kind of real history of relationship with fashion.

And of course when I was younger it was much more, you know, fantastical and it was just a way to express myself. I never really thought much else about it because I was young. But as I've gotten older, I really struggled with how to dress myself. I really struggled with my relationship to my body, to clothes sizing. And as I've kind of healed that the last few years, and especially last year, I think that really was a real big focus for me personally. And

I found myself feeling really hesitant to share my outfits because it felt kind of frivolous. I felt like I should be putting my attention elsewhere.

But avoiding it felt like I was trying to be something I'm not, right? Because fashion isn't frivolous to me. As someone who grew up believing she was far bigger than she was, right, this 12 year old who wouldn't wear a strappy dress without covering her arms, a pre-teen

who was told short hair wouldn't suit her round face, and then deeply regretted cutting her own hair, and then avoided it. Right? Avoided having short hair. Until now. A few days after this episode goes live, I'm having my hair cut short. You know, the same young person who was paid per pound she lost, right? Continually told.

her clothes should be flattering and make her smaller and hide her softness, her roundness, her fatness. All of these things contributed towards my binge eating disorder and how much energy I then spent for decades trying to make my body smaller. Right, growing up in an era where they hardly made clothes for the high street above a size 16 or 18, when we couldn't shop online, my identity seemed to be

heavily reliant on these like feminine stereotypes, all of which I've never met by the way, this has been a big journey for me, realizing that I was never ever going to meet those stereotypes and I'm still not going to meet them. This is why I share my outfits, this is why I share my body, because I know how hard it is to have a body size or shape that is not acknowledged anywhere ever,

We so very rarely see body shapes like mine advertising clothes and I want other people to know that we exist. They are not alone in how they feel.

Some of the common things I've heard in the comments of these videos is about the rules. The fashion rules that we were taught growing up, how that has carried into adulthood, and how it's meant that we avoid certain things, We avoid certain colours, materials, cuts or shapes, patterns, just because at some point someone said it wasn't flattering, or that fat bodies should only wear black because it's slimming.

I also hear from folks who have not been able to find their own style or even figure out what they actually like with clothing because plus size choices are so limited, you know,

We're left to wonder, is this my style or is this just what I'm left with? Is this the only choice I have? You know, if I had the same choice as my peers on the high street, would I still buy these clothes?

You've probably heard, whether it's me or other folks in larger bodies, talk about the fact that when we were younger and our friends were shopping for all the latest fashions on the high street, we were left browsing the accessories department. We weren't given the opportunity to figure out what our style was as teenagers because we were being sized out. I was being sized out of those departments at around the age of 12.

the past two decades we have seen some improvements. We've seen dedicated plus-size stores starting to cater for younger fat folks, some brands made inclusive sizing part of their businesses from the outset, and we've seen micro and small businesses doing more than most national and internationally known brands, Torrid, Old Navy, Simply Be, I'm looking at you.

But of course, as weight loss drugs and weight loss surgery have become socially acceptable, many of these advancements have just unraveled.

Plus size brands seem to be only using models of a certain size or body type now. You rarely see clothes being modeled on larger bodies, especially larger bodies, you know, for example, similar to mine. I have a smaller chest, I have an apron belly, I'm short. Because even within plus sizes, there are still socially acceptable plus size bodies.

but they're unlikely representative of most of these brands' customers, but they use them as their models. I've often noticed as well that they will use real people for social media campaigns. Now, those real people are usually influencers, but they will use them in their social media campaigns, but they're not seen on their websites marketing their clothing. And so even if those influencers have similar bodies to us, or to a majority of those customers,

they're not seen in the clothes when we're actually shopping for them. Instead, what we see is stores hiding their teeny tiny plus size sections in a corner away from the main entrances. The lighting is usually shit, the racks aren't tidy. If you don't already check out Samyra on socials, she shares the state of these racks in many, many, many, many stores.

department stores, Macy's, Target, she is a big advocate for clothes sizing and what is inclusive, and she talks about that a lot.

We've also witnessed brands removing their plus sizes from stores, Leaving us to shop online, incurring additional costs. And for those who want to actually shopping person, they're excluding us from the same experiences as our straight sized peers. I think I've talked about this before on the show, but I had this experience a couple of years back. I bought a skirt online from a pretty well-known high street brand here in the UK called New Look.

I looked at their size chart, I could not figure out what size I was going to be because according to their size chart I had already sized out at like their biggest size. So I just was like, I'll size up a couple of sizes. It came, it was too big. So I went back into store and I was like, look, I want to return this and I want to order.

you know, this in a smaller size. And I was told that they don't carry anything above a size 20 in store, but I was more than welcome to order online and have things shipped to store. That wasn't free. I still had to pay delivery to have things shipped to the store, but then I could go in and try them on in store and anything I didn't want, I could then return there and then. And I was like, sure, okay. Do any of your straight size customers have to do this?

Does anybody below a size 18 or 20 have to jump through this many hoops just to buy a skirt? No. This is saved for those of us who are in larger bodies.

I get that they're trying to give us an option, it's not good enough.

We've also witnessed stores removing their plus size collections entirely. And now the biggest size they do in store is an XXL if we're lucky. And that isn't even a plus size. An XXL isn't a plus size, it's actually an extended straight size. Those two things are different.

We've also witnessed brands continuing to make entirely different clothing for their plus size ranges. This is something we talk about a lot on TikTok. This is something I've seen lots of conversations around because instead of taking what is trendy and making it plus size,

They go out of their way to give us t-shirts with weird graphics or quotes on them, cold shoulder tops, peplum hems, a whole lot of polka dots. And I think if you ask any plus size person, someone above a size 20 or 22 or 2X, they will tell you the same thing because even if we want to wear these things, this is not the same clothing as in the straight size departments. You will not find this small range of live, laugh, love t-shirts and polka dot peplum cold shoulder tops in a size 12.

So why are they being made for plus size people?

you will find clothing that is supposed to be on trend. Which just serves to remind us that we're not welcome in your store. You do not want our fat money. You do not want us to be seen as trendy or fashionable because, and let me say this with all of my soul,

If you give fat folks a voice and allow them to be part of the design and marketing process, if you allow them to have main character energy that is equal to the way you market your straight sizes,

you are going to piss off your straight sized customers. Grisel Paula, the founder and CEO of Rebdolls, a size inclusive fashion brand, was looking for investors last year. And she shared a video in which she said that the investors she had been speaking to did not want to get involved in the plus size market because they felt that their straight sized customers would feel alienated. Lucy and Yak, a size inclusive brand that I shop with regularly, they changed the way they design their clothing sizes a few years back.

I believe their samples are now based on like a size 16 to 18. And then what they do is they work their measurements and sizing outwards, right? So they go up and they go down from a size four to a 32. As a suggested size 24, I find their clothing is most representative of my body shape and size. Sometimes I size up, sometimes I size down. Most of the time I buy my suggested size. There's also things that I just...

don't enjoy wearing from there. Like so it's not like every piece of clothing they make is amazing for my body, right? That's not the case and I don't think that would be the case for anybody. But in recent months I have seen so many conversations, right, loads of people complaining online about the Lucy and Yak sizing and it was really curious to me because it seemed to come out of nowhere, Everybody was complaining these things are too baggy, they don't fit them properly, they have to try all these different sizes on to find a size that fits and I thought

Guys, I have to bite my tongue and not get into fights with everybody on the internet because it's exhausting. But when I tell you that these are same things that plus size folks feel every single time they look for clothing, even in stores that carry plus sizes or stores that are even for plus sizes. I mean, I know this experience is not unique to plus size folks, but it is not something we talk about enough.

Because when fat folks bring up the fact they can't access a certain brand, a certain style or something trendy, we're just told to sit down and be grateful for what we have.

But this is the experience that we always have. We see something we like, but it doesn't come in plus size. We see something we think, that's cute, it stops at an XL. It stops at a 16, if we're lucky. That is the recurring experience for us when we try to shop for clothes. And the hypocrisy is that while society wants fat folks to lose weight and be smaller,

Even if that is somebody's choice, are they supposed to just be naked whilst they do that? No. We still need clothing!

So I want to talk about two big reasons why clothing brands, or why they claim to have gone back on their plus sizing, or they're just refusing to make plus sizes full stop. The first one is cost. And the second one is because they say they don't sell.

I find the idea that it costs too much money to make plus sizes, but we will design and make entirely different ranges for plus size folks is bullshit. Because could you not instead, instead of investing in clothes we don't want, could you not invest that money into talented and thoughtful designers who can actually make trendy stuff fit us?

They'll pay for socially acceptable plus size influencers and models to market their clothing, but they don't include us in store.

And then the idea that, well, we've put clothes, plus size clothes in stores and they don't sell, that's because you're making shit we don't want. Include us in the process. Actually ask fat folks what we want. Then the clothes will sell. Then it won't cost you as much money. This is a cycle. Can you see how this cycle continues? And so what we find is that brands who are actually built upon size inclusivity,

who tend to lead with their values these tend to be small and micro businesses. Now, I just wanted to clarify, a small business is actually classified as a business with a turnover of million dollars per year or less, which is wild to me, because you will hear the phrase small business used a lot. But that's why I use the term micro business as well, because most of us are just trying to make sustainable income from our businesses.

So when these big businesses who don't want to design or invest in plus sizes, it is not about cost. These decisions are rooted in their anti-fat bias, their weight stigma and their stereotypes. Number one, they believe that plus size women are inherently of a lower socioeconomic status. They draw this conclusion from stereotypes. Those stereotypes are rooted in healthism, racism, ableism, all of the isms. Right? Therefore they don't make clothing at all for us.

because they think that nobody in a plus-size body can afford to buy it. we aren't asking for couture items or designer goods, we're just asking for high street brands to actually consider us. There are accessible price stores who do not carry above a size XL or 22, and that doesn't even make sense.

Number two, they believe that all plus size people see being plus size as temporary. Right? It's just a stop along the way to thin before they lose weight and therefore

They don't want to invest in fashion or clothing for the weight and size they currently are.

And number three, they also falsely believe that stores who carry extended sizes up to a size 20 or 22 like Old Navy, New Look or department stores here like Next, Marks and Spencer's, John Lewis, they believe that these stores are already serving the fat community and the plus size demographic. So we fat folks don't need brands to cater or centre us within the industry.

But plus size folks know that a size 22 is not where plus sizes end. We know that size inclusivity should be up to at least a size 36 or 7X. And there are so many reasons why someone might be of a lower socioeconomic status. And listen, this is such an expansive conversation, right? It can be about how society has stigmatized different members of society

and creates stereotypes and discriminates against anyone who doesn't fit a certain demographic.

This is about more than just a size, and it goes beyond what is or isn't trendy.

At the beginning of this episode I asked the question, how do we achieve size inclusivity, specifically in the fashion industry, when so much of society has written fat folks off?

Because if people don't believe that we deserve respect and access to the most basic forms of care, when people don't want us to exist, don't want to make accommodations for us, they don't want to sit next to us...

Size inclusivity might be the answer, but it won't happen without the support of straight-sized folks fat folks are not listened to. Hell, we're not even part of the conversation when it comes to what we want to see in clothing in particular.

And in a capitalistic society where products aren't designed to last, right, folks and larger bodies are never going to be part of that creative process because it does cost more to make things that last for a longer period of time.

And so I have two calls to action today.

The first is for my listeners within the fat community. Keep using your voice when it feels safe to do so. Keep sharing those outfits. Tell us about the products you recommend. Tell us the tools you're using to make your life easier. Did you find a brand who makes wide fitting shoes? Let us know.

discovered a jewellery brand who makes their jewellery with us in mind, we want to know about it. Share the shit out of the things that work for you, because this is how we grow our community. When I started finding my own fat community online, this was something that gave me so much confidence and safety. To be myself. Now, please don't underestimate the importance of sharing. And even if your family doesn't care, or your friends think it's weird because they hold bias towards larger bodies,

I promise we want to know about it.

My second call to action is for my smaller bodied listeners. Listeners who are able to access clothing in most high street stores, whether you want to or like the clothing or not is irrelevant. If you're able to find your clothing size pretty easily most of the time and able to go out and exist in day to day life, this is my ask of you. Support plus size stores.

Support small businesses catering to plus-size folks. Support the women-owned, the black and BIPOC-owned, the queer and trans-owned stores who cater to large bodies. If you have a plus-size friend, buy their next birthday gift from one of these stores. Get a gift card for them. You have no idea how much this would mean to the fat people in your life, especially if these are not conversations you're actively having. As Tigress Osborn suggests, browse the accessories section.

Just like we have had to do for most of our lives, whilst you're shopped, buy some earrings. Next time you pass a torrid, buy a necklace from Lane Bryant. Ask Old Navy where they carry plus sizes and when they tell you they removed them because they will, ask them why and who you can complain to about it.

When you feel frustrated in the Lucy & Yak changing room because your usual size is too big, remember it's because they are sizing their clothes for all bodies and not just protecting their smaller customers.

And finally, I ask all of us to take the time to unpack our own anti-fatness. Even those of us in larger bodies, especially if you're on a body smaller than infini fat. Because there are still ways in which our bodies carry some privilege within society. For example, if we have some access whilst limited to clothing, and this allows us to show up in society.

I ask us to consider our own bias towards how someone is dressed, the cultural stereotypes of needing to look presentable, or the binary language around how we dress our bodies.

So no, weight loss is definitely not the answer, but I couldn't pull all of this into a TikTok video.