6 Tips for Unlearning Internalised Fatphobia

Fatphobia is on the rise, so today, we’re going to talk about it.

Fatphobia, or anti-fatness, is the often socially acceptable form of discrimination and negative attitudes towards folks in fat bodies. This includes stereotypes and misconceptions that fat folks are less disciplined or lack self-control compared to their smaller bodied peers. Fatphobia is not just name calling or bullying someone for their size, it’s rooted in racism, and the transatlantic slave trade.

In this episode we will be exploring:

What fatphobia is, and why it’s harmful
Examples of fatphobia within society, specifically healthcare
Examples of internalised fatphobia, and ways we were exposed to it, even as children

And, I’ll be finishing the episode with 6 tips for unlearning our internalised fatphobia.

Unlearning our own internalised fatphobia is something we have to do as an individual, accepting that we have also been part of the problem - no matter our body size - and recognising some of the thoughts and judgements we make to ourselves and others.

If you’ve ever heard yourself say…

“I’m not as fat as that person”
“Have you seen how much weight they’ve gained?”
“I’m never going to let myself get like that…”

Or, perhaps assumed you know someone’s health, lifestyle or ability based on their size?

That’s fatphobia.

You can file this under “Once you see it, you can’t unsee it!”

So dive in with me, we’re covering a lot, and I promise you it’s worth it.

Takeaways:

Fatphobia is a societal issue that affects everyone.
Internalized fatphobia can lead to self-discrimination and negative self-image.
Fatphobia is rooted in racism.
Weight is influenced by numerous factors beyond personal control.
Unlearning fatphobia requires conscious effort and self-reflection.
Social media can perpetuate harmful beauty standards.
Advocacy for marginalised bodies is crucial in the fight against fatphobia.
Diverse voices in the fat acceptance movement are essential for change.
Challenging diet talk in everyday conversations is important.
Recognising one's worth is not tied to body size.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction & Content Warning
03:36 Melanie's Personal Experience With Fat Phobia
06:36 Understanding Fatphobia: Definitions and Examples
09:34 The Impact & Harm Of Fat Phobia
12:46 The Harmful Effects of Internalised Fatphobia
16:38 Understanding Internalized Fatphobia
19:30 Tip 1: Stop correlating weight & health with worth
21:20 Tip 2: Consider the experiences of people whose bodies differ from your own
23:41 Tip 3: Unfollow Accounts Perpetuating Fat Phobia
25:49 Tip 4: Reframing Fat Phobic Thoughts
28:56 Tip 5: Ditch The Diet Talk
33:55 Tip 6: Learn from fat liberationists & anti diet professionals

Next Week:
Mini-sode: Fat phobia & The Rise Of GLP-1s

Come say 'hello' on social media!

You'll find episode content on Instagram stories.

Looking for more conversations around the politics of fashion? Join me on TikTok

Support the show over on Substack! You'll find regular episodes along with monthly bonus episodes in our wonderful fat positive community.

Transcript

Melanie Knights [she/they] (00:00)
Hello friends, hello my plus-sized pals, hello everybody, welcome back to the culture of it all. If you are new here, thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciate you tuning into today's episode. As you can probably tell from the title, I'm gonna be sharing with you six ways in which we can unlearn our internalized fat phobia. Even if you are someone who has actively been unlearning your fat phobia, I would encourage you to still listen to today's episode. There might be something new.

And also if you have people, whether it's friends, families, or colleagues, or whoever in your life who do not understand fatphobia, this may give you some tools and ways in which you can approach that conversation with them, or some gentle reminders ⁓ as you navigate these conversations with other people, because that's hard. No one likes hearing that they're fatphobic. I've learned that quite a lot on social media.

So today's episode, I'm going to be sharing what fatphobia is.

why it's harmful. I'm going to explore some examples of internalized fat phobia and then share six tips for unlearning fat phobia.

Before we get into today's episode, a quick reminder that you can subscribe to The Culture of It All on Substack by heading to cultureofitallpod.substack.com/subscribe choosing the free or paid plan. Subscribers get early access to episodes, regular bonuses, including creative resources, blogs, videos, and more. You can also follow the show over on Instagram at cultureofitallpod.

where I share episode updates and the stories, my fat thoughts and too many Aquarius memes. You can also join me over on TikTok, which is at Melanie Nights, where we discuss plus size fashion without the diet talk, body image, parenting, fat acceptance. And as my friend Ali says, you want to grab your popcorn because the comment section is like an unhinged reality TV show.

Okay, so I want to give you a content warning before we get into today's episode. Obviously, fatphobia. We are going to be talking about examples of fatphobia, internalised fatphobia, medical weight stigma, how that presents and how it can prevent people in larger bodies getting the access and care they need. Please, please, please protect your mental health. That is more important than listening to this episode. If you need to take a break, take a break. If you need to skip this one, I'll be back.

next week with another episode. I love you, thank you for listening.

When I look back at my childhood, I can see how I was subjected to fatphobia growing up. Not just in the bullying and the name calling and never really fitting in because of my body shape and size, but because I started to believe from a very young age that we should just expect to be treated poorly. At some point, I thought, sure, this is how we treat fat people, right? So if I'm fat, I deserve to be treated this way.

And I should also have these thoughts and feelings about anyone else in a larger body.

And right now as a society, fatphobia is on the rise. We've seen this steadily over the last two, three years. With the rise of GLP-1s, the rise of skinnytok with more and more AI filters, and also because of the state of the political system right now. The rise of fascism, the rise of very right-wing, patriarchal views. With that comes this need

to control our bodies, with this comes our need to restrict and distract.

And I've shared with you already on the show in recent episodes that I've experienced more fat phobia in the past couple of months on TikTok than I have done in years. And it really led me to thinking, A, that it's because I'm using my voice and speaking up, I'm sharing things that are apparently polarizing, even though I don't think it should actually be that controversial that I expect equal treatment in my fat body. But I've also noticed that there may have been many times as an adult where

I didn't have access to opportunities because of my body size. And it's only recently that I've recognized that. There are a lot of times when I was a plus size personal trainer that I don't think I got the job because of the size of my body. Because the size of my body, even though was much smaller than it is right now, was still for most people their "before" It was their "before photo". I think there were a lot of people that didn't hire me because of how I looked.

because I didn't have the body they wanted to work towards. There were a lot of people who didn't hire me because they couldn't justify for some reason hiring a plus size personal trainer. They didn't think I was going to be profitable. And I think there could have been many other opportunities that I missed out on that, you know, whether it was employment or otherwise, because of the size of my body, because of fat phobia. But I don't think I recognized it because I was also very, very much fat phobic.

And let's be real, most people think that fatness is simply a choice. They assume they know how I eat, they know my health markers, they know my lifestyle choices, simply by taking one look at me, whether that's in person or online. Which, by the way, even if they're 100 % correct, doesn't mean that I deserve to be treated badly.

So what is fatphobia?

Fatphobia or anti-fatness describes the socially acceptable negative attitudes about fat people. Fatphobia is anti-fat. It includes stereotypes and misconceptions that fat people are lazy, unintelligent, or lack self-control and discipline. It appears across society. You probably see it on a daily basis because for the most part it is covert. It's in almost

all types of media and it affects which bodies we perceive as valuable or desirable, it is so ingrained within our society that you may not even notice it when you see it.

And here are some examples of how fat phobia shows up in our everyday lives. Some of them are very, very subtle. The things that you see and without even processing, it is re-enforcing fat phobic beliefs, right? You scroll through Instagram and you see your friends before and after photos. That is reinforcing fat phobia. It's the way in which we market fat bodies, right? How we choose to put a fat or skinny body on

marketing campaign, or the way in which we choose to use that body to further a marketing narrative. It's in your favourite clothing store when you go there and it doesn't carry above an XL, and it's also there when you don't notice that it doesn't carry above a size XL. It's in your doctor's waiting rooms when every single chair in there has arms. It's when your doctor can't take your blood pressure because they don't have a big enough cuff.

It's when you get your flu vaccine and they don't have bigger needles to make the vaccine actually more effective because those of us in larger bodies typically need a bigger gauge needle.

It's also being told that you're eligible for a COVID vaccine each year when you don't have any of the health issues listed, but it's simply because at some point a nurse recorded your weight and your height and your BMI and it triggers that every year you are unwell simply because of your size and need to have this vaccine.

It's even in your favourite influencer preaching about body positivity whilst contorting their socially acceptable body to look more "normal", right? That is just to name a few. It's just to name a few.

And more importantly, fatphobia is rooted in racism. According to Sabrina Strings, the author of Fearing the Black Body, the Racial Origins of Fatphobia, fatphobia is rooted in the transatlantic slave trade. During this time, colonists believed that black people were gluttonous and sensual, and that the love of food caused them to be fat. Fatphobia is not just bullying someone for their size or calling them names.

So why is fatphobia harmful? It stems from the belief that weight is mostly controlled by diet and exercise. It perpetuates the narrative that if you just try hard enough, you could also be thin or manage your weights. It's that kind of if I can do it, so can you narrative. The thing is, fatness is affected by over 35 factors, including things like genetics and health conditions.

social and financial status and certain medications or disability. We also know that weight is affected by diet cycling and of course the systemic bullying of fat people. So what we eat and how often we move our bodies in many cases is not going to be enough to change a person's weight, certainly not long term. And fat phobia creates barriers for folks in larger bodies when looking at the fat spectrum, the higher a person's weight and size,

the more barriers a person will then face within society.

These barriers include medical care and the bias when seeking health advice from a health professional. This can show up as weight stigma and bias, but also with a lack of consideration for larger patients in like the weighting area, the weight capacity of examination tables or the size of blood pressure cuffs or gowns. Fatphobia negatively impacts treatment outcomes for folks in larger bodies and often our health issues are attributed to our weight even when the problems are actually unrelated to weight.

This happened to me as a young person, I was probably in my late teens, at the height of my disordered eating, when I was in a small for me sized body, and a doctor leaned over her desk, held my hand, which was inappropriate itself, and told me, well, there is a lot of you isn't there dear?

I had already been dieting for 12 months. I was the smallest I'd ever been at that point and I was still incredibly self-conscious. I really was struggling with my own body image and apparently, according to this doctor, I still wasn't deemed healthy. I still wasn't seen to be good enough in this body. These fatphobic behaviours by medical professionals, they lead to delays in things like preventative screening.

They lead to bias during maternity care and general practitioner services.

But what we've come to learn is that statistics around illness in larger bodies may well have significantly more to do with medical weight stigma and weight bias by medical professionals.

When a fat person experiences medical weight stigma, they're then less likely to seek health advice in the future. It poses the question, if people in larger bodies weren't discriminated against and received the same unbiased healthcare as their thin peers, would we still have the same statistics? Would fat folks actually have improved health markers if they weren't being discriminated against and kept in this diet cycle?

And fatphobia also affects our mental health and is associated with high levels of anxiety, depression, poor body image and poor self-esteem. Which really just means that fatphobia isn't helping anyone. Least of all fat folks.

So what is internalized fatphobia?

Internalized fatphobia is what happens when people believe that because someone is fat, they don't deserve the same opportunities or treatment as thin people. Internalized fatphobia can affect anyone regardless of their body size. For folks in larger bodies, we may internalize and believe that we don't deserve the same treatment and opportunities as thin people. Like I said at the beginning, that was something I was shown as a very young person.

that I didn't deserve to be treated fairly. I didn't deserve to be treated fairly because I was in a larger body, therefore neither did anybody else.

Thin people may then discriminate against larger bodies because they don't believe they deserve the same treatment and opportunities as thin people.

A really good example of this is recently I made a video about plus size clothing. I made a video saying I had a theory that brands on the high street who make clothing for plus sizes but choose to not stock them in store, choose to make entirely different clothes for plus sizes compared to their straight sized collections, the ones that hide the plus size clothing in the corner, they do this on purpose with intention.

because they don't want to piss off their straight sized customers. I said that they don't want to associate with us, they don't want to help, they don't want to have us looking good, they don't want to put us in the same clothes as their smaller customers, because that would be an issue for people in smaller bodies. They don't want to see larger people in the same clothes as them. I made this video, it caused a ruckus. And what was really interesting was there's a lot of thin people, a lot of thin people who said...

Yeah, I think you should pay more for your clothes. That wasn't even the point, but you know, that was, that was what a lot of them people decided. They decided, they heard this and said, no, you should pay more for your clothes. I should pay less for my size 10 clothes and you should pay more for your plus size clothes. And then there was a lot of people in plus size bodies who also agreed. Since then, I've been like keeping a little mental tally.

A lot of plus size people coming into my comments telling me that we don't deserve people to bend over backwards for us, right? Even though that's not what I'm asking. Plus size people saying, yeah, I'm fat and I think it's all my fault. This stuff is so deeply ingrained within society. It is so deeply internalized, right? Internalized fat phobia reinforces fat stereotypes and the beliefs that fat people are unattractive, lazy, undisciplined.

Right, it reinforces the idea that we're less deserving of love or success. We've seen it in every single frickin' 90s rom-com. This idea that we are personally to blame for any health issue that we experience. It is outrageous.

Because these are the same insecurities and beliefs that the diet industry profits off of in order to keep us in a diet cycle.

For many of us, as I said, our internalised fatphobia was formed in childhood. We were taught the behaviours, the beliefs and the perceived solution. We watched our mothers and our siblings and strangers never enjoy a celebration or meal. We watched them hate having their photo taken, turning down opportunities, losing weight for holidays and celebrations or restricting themselves at family gatherings. We watched

diet culture take their dreams and opportunities, we watched it take away their life. Internalized fat phobia steals our dreams. It tells us we have to put our lives on hold until we reach this arbitrary goal.

Internalized fatphobia as a fat person can also lead to subconscious behaviors in order to distance ourselves from the fat community. You may have heard the term like "good fatty" or "plus-size pick me energy"... This is like, "I may be fat, but at least I'm trying. I know this is a choice. I agree with you all." It's like this like rah rah sisterhood bullshit. It's that kind of messaging.

And I understand the need for self-preservation right now. I do understand that being fat right now is really difficult. It is political, it's hard, and it shouldn't be. But I'm also very aware of the fact that this kind of comes out as anger, it comes out as bullying, disrespect, and it can be very, very rude for those of us who are speaking up and saying that it doesn't have to be like this.

And unfortunately, what I think is worse is that a lot of this reinforces the idea that when someone is in a larger body, their health is performative in some way, or that their confidence is a performance. And it's like, no, we need to stop assuming that people can't love, like, respect, be even neutral about their larger bodies, that we have to assume everyone in a larger body must be trying to pursue thinness.

that they must hate themselves, that they must be treated negatively.

So let's get into these six tips for unlearning internalized fatphobia. I do want to first just start by saying that this is not easy. It's not easy to unlearn fatphobia. This kind of self-reflection is a lot. It's very vulnerable. No one likes to hear that they are fatphobic. I've learned that. But I think it's a very important lesson. I think it's a very important self-reflection.

Because like any discriminatory behaviours or systems of oppression, many of us don't want to believe that we might be part of the problem. I get that. For those of us in larger bodies, it's very hard to rationalise that we may also be fatphobic. Because I think for a lot of people, we just assume it's a fear of fatness. We hear fatphobia and think it's a fear of fatness, but it's not. It's actually a whole set of ways in which we perceive fatness or perceive people in larger bodies.

And internalised fat phobia or anti-fatness, doesn't make you inherently bad because it affects all of us, regardless of body size, but we do have the opportunity to unlearn it because we weren't born like this, it was taught to us. And if you're here listening and willing to unlearn, then you're already doing a great job. Like, that's fine. So my first tip is to stop correlating weight and your health with worth

We cannot tell someone's health simply by looking at them, and this is a double standard rooted in fatphobia. Somebody asked me recently, "serious question, are you not concerned by your health?" This was in response to me asking people if they had anything I would like to cover on the show. And they went on from this question to tell me all about their health.

and to basically tell me they were in large body, they lost weight, they had health problems, now they didn't. This is fatphobic. The reason it's fatphobic is because they're assuming that I have health issues because of my body weight. They're assuming by looking at me that they can tell how I eat, how I live my life, what health markers I might have. They can't. They didn't. They don't know.

I don't share those things, they have no way of knowing those things. Health isn't just physical, it includes mental and emotional health, and that's why when we talk about the fact that people who are fatphobic don't give a shit about fat people's health, it's because they don't care about our mental or emotional health. What they care about is thinness. And health is subjective, right? Health is subjective, we are all different, and

Much of what we've been taught about health is actually just thinness and behaviors that are designed to lose weight, control our bodies and maintain thinness. It is rooted in a set of beliefs, which is diet culture. You are so much more than your body. You are so much more than what your body looks like or what your size of your body is, and you deserve to exist in your body no matter its shape or size. You are worthy

no matter what society may tell you.

Tip number two, consider the experiences of people whose bodies differ from your own.

I feel like I've said lived experience in like a hundred videos these past couple of months because this one really chafes my butt. I can't understand why people don't recognise that we all have different lived experiences. I have been stunned by how many people are incapable of considering other people's lived experiences. I felt a little naive at first because I was so taken aback by the level of ignorance, but

We'll get into that another time. You may have heard me talk about the fat spectrum. The fat spectrum represents fat bodies and visually it's an upwards curved line. As our body weight and size increase, so do the barriers that we face within society. If you do want to see a visual of this, head over to the link in the show notes. I've linked an article called Fategories. It's a really great article. I always reference it because I think it's really helped to see that visual.

So someone who is considered small fat, they are on the lower end of the fat spectrum. They may experience medical weight bias and stigma, but they will likely be able to navigate public spaces, public transport, they'll be able to sit somewhat comfortably in all the chairs in a waiting room, and they'll be able to source clothes from most spaces, including plus size stores However, someone at the other end of the fat spectrum, they may be unable to access public transport.

and even plus size stores may not carry their dress size. We must advocate for the most marginalized bodies in society, not just for small fat bodies or anywhere in between, Fat advocacy, fat acceptance, fat visibility, fat liberation, that includes all fat bodies and especially the most marginalized in society.

And I encourage all of us to diversify our content. Listen to the voices of black fat creators and authors and activists learned from trans fat people and disabled fat folks.

pay attention, listen and learn to people who have more than one marginalization, listen to the people who are most marginalized within society, because their experiences will be different, right, even from my own.

My next tip is to unfollow. Unfollow, maybe sometimes even block. Social media can be wonderful. It is a place to find connection, community, inspiration, and answers to our burning questions. It can also be an absolute cesspit of misinformation and a place where user 7912463 can just bully and harass strangers with zero consequences.

As I said, fatphobia is on the rise and skinnytok is rampant and the economy is unstable, which unfortunately means that people whose identity and self-worth and possibly their income relies on the pursuit of thinness, they are having their voices elevated. Social media exposes us to these patriarchal beauty standards. It destroys our self-esteem. It tells us that we're not enough. It's worth reflecting on your own social media habits.

I did a video just today talking about this in terms of perceiving fat bodies ⁓ in casual clothing. I reference the fact that one of the reasons I think many of us feel this barrier to dressing casually in a large body is because a lot of the content we see, a lot of fat creators obviously dress for TikTok or for social media in these beautiful outfits. And that's lovely.

I do that sometimes too, but it may not be realistic for like the everyday person who's working from home, or perhaps they're a stay at home parent, whatever it may be, just running errands, I don't know. I'm like, we still need to consider dressing for our own lives and our own lifestyle. Like that's absolutely okay. So yeah, it's worth reflecting on social media habits. Are you following accounts who reinforce ideal beauty standards? Do they demonize certain foods? Are they selling you the idea that

there is social status in the thinness, it's worth considering the content you're consuming, the content you're seeing, and how that's influencing your own internalised fatphobia.

Okay, the fourth tip I have is to reframe your negative thoughts. As somebody with chronic self-doubt and a very noisy inner critic, I've learned that simply trying to ignore the mixed tape of You're Not Good Enough Volume 2 isn't actually enough. You can't just tell it to shut up. It doesn't just go away. And for those of us in larger bodies, it's not enough to just like get over our limiting beliefs or self-doubt, no matter how many books we may read.

because often it has been reinforced by how we are treated by society. So instead of trying to force away the negativity, we can practice reframing some of these thoughts. And I'm just, I want to share a couple of examples of that with you. The first one feels like probably the most relatable, which is "I feel fat" right? Reframe that, right? Fat isn't a feeling. Fat isn't a feeling. What I'm feeling is...

anger, sadness, frustration, some other difficult emotion, One of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is what do I need right now? What do I need right now? We certainly don't ever need to talk negatively towards ourselves, but what I would encourage you to do is ask yourself in that moment,

What am I actually feeling and what do I need right now?

The next one is food related, Especially for those of us who are working through deconstructing the food rules, the idea that some foods are good or bad. So for example, if you have the thought eating that cookie is bad, well, you can reframe that with I'm honoring my body, I'm honoring my cravings, food isn't good or bad, and I'm allowed to nourish myself, which includes eating the foods I'm craving.

The third example I have is I don't like how much I weigh. I don't like how much I weigh. We can reframe that with my weight doesn't define who I am. It is a number. And I am still worthy of love, success and happiness no matter what I weigh. I will say these are just three very simple examples. I know that this goes a lot deeper for many of us.

I would encourage you if you are struggling with these things and especially if you are in a larger body, actually, no, that's not true. No matter what body shape or size you're in, if you are struggling with these negative thoughts, looking for somebody who is also neutral,

or anti- it is weight neutral, anti-diet, is not going to pass off these thoughts as a reason to change your body. That can be really supportive. I've worked with a body image coach who is anti-diet and it was incredibly helpful because when we look for support with our

thoughts and with the way that we are thinking about ourselves, we don't want to then be told, "Well, maybe you should lose weight, that would stop those thoughts." Because it won't. It really, really won't.

So tip number five is to ditch the diet talk. Diet talk is so insidious. So insidious. Great film? Awful when it comes to diet talk. Diet talk is everywhere, right? From your workplace to your family gatherings, it's in the hairdressers whilst you're just minding your own business. Diet talk can include conversations about restricting food or exercising to achieve weight loss.

But it also includes those comments on people's size, weight or food intake, right? It's included in the way in which someone is talking about someone else or even that celebrity on a magazine. Weight loss isn't small talk. This should not be something that we talk about so openly in front of people.

Growing up, I remember constantly feeling like I was gigantuan. I have a couple of cousins who were in much slimmer bodies, right? They were naturally very, very slim. I was not naturally very, very slim. Do I think I was as big as everyone perceived me to be? No. But I wasn't like them. I had a very different body shape to them.

And growing up, I would constantly hear about how they didn't eat enough. I would constantly hear about how sporty they are, how athletic they are, how thin they are. All of these comments on their bodies in comparison to the comments that were made about mine was incredibly insidious. It was very, very subtle, but it was constantly telling me I should be like them. My body is so much bigger than theirs. There's a problem in my body. They don't need to change theirs, but I need to change mine. It was constant.

Right, mixtape, constant broken record as I was growing up.

just the other week I was actually in a local deli. I was queuing, was buying a coffee and minding my own business and this person in front of me she turned around and was talking to me about my trousers and we were talking about the brand, the store where I got these trousers from.

it became obvious that she already owned some of these trousers. We were just having a nice little chit chat whilst we waited for it to be next in the queue to order our coffees, right? It was lovely. I was like, this is very refreshing. This is nice. It changed in an instant. Because all of a sudden it went from that to her needing to announce when accepting her coffee from the barista.

that this indeed was her treat of the week. This was her treat because she'd lost, I don't know, whatever she'd lost weight-wise. And there was only me and her and the barista in here, in there at that point, and she turned and she just looked at me. And I was like, nope, nope, I'm gonna stay quiet. And it got very, very awkward real quick because I knew...

that the socially acceptable thing to say at that point was, oh we all deserve a treat, or well done. Right? There was a desire for me to validate what she was saying. Her weight loss, her experience, she wanted some camaraderie, and I wasn't gonna give that to her because... no. That may seem harsh, but that is not my job. I don't know you, I'm a stranger, and...

I am not having this as a treat. I'm having this because I want a cup of coffee. It was, it got awkward really quickly and it was really interesting to kind of have this like out of body experience in that moment and understanding how typical this is, how commonplace it is to have these conversations. And let me say the guy behind the counter was very much like, oh, well, you know, don't want to restrict yourself.

Even he seemed really awkward as well. I was like, no, this isn't fun. But you know, this is the thing. loss shouldn't be small talk. We shouldn't just assume that everyone is on a diet. Most people have been there and had that experience, but we shouldn't assume that everyone is. And yeah, it was just a really interesting experience. Because I don't have many of those because I try to avoid having these kinds of conversations.

You know, we shouldn't be talking negatively about our own bodies, but certainly not our own bodies or other people's bodies, in front of young people especially. And not only do you not need to engage in these conversations, there are ways that you can politely, unless you're like me and choose the awkward route, you could opt out of the conversation, right? You can say things like, "Can we please talk about something else?" "I'm trying to avoid talking about diets and weight loss." "This conversation makes me uncomfortable."

"I'm trying to eat intuitively and that means giving myself permission to eat all foods without shame or judgement."

A reminder, weight loss isn't small talk. So my final tip for unlearning internalized fat phobia is to learn from fat liberationists and anti-diet professionals. Originally I was going to share with you some book recommendations, which I will, but I decided that I'm going to start a full comprehensive list on Substack of fiction and nonfiction books, creators,

podcasts, the whole thing. So look for a link in the show notes that will take you to that resource on Substack. All you have to do if you want access to it is at the moment add your email and it will be available on there. I may also place it somewhere else so that people who are not subscribed on Substack also have access to this because I think it's really important. Just give me a bit of time. I'll update you in future episode when that's available elsewhere as well.

The reason I want to create this comprehensive list is because you can learn and support marginalized voices by following, by sharing, by engaging, and when possible, from buying from them. Off the top of my head, some of the people I would recommend that you look for and follow on social media. Naomi Katz, aka Happy Shapes Coaching on Instagram. She was my body image coach. Chrissy King, Aubrey Gordon, aka your fat friend. Jessamyn Stanley, or Underbelly Yoga.

Virgie Tovar, Tigress Osborn, Naafa, the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance, Bri Campos, Fat and Fucked Podcast, SJ Tilly, Talia Hilbert, Sonia Renee Taylor, Reagan Chastain, Christy Harrison, Kate Manne. I will start a comprehensive list on Substack. There are so many more, but those are the ones off the top of my head.

So let me end today's episode with this. This is not an overnight process. This is something that you have to practice. It is something that I still practice when those thoughts come up. It is complicated because it's likely unlearning a lifetime of these beliefs. You've likely grown up around fatphobia and the beliefs that glorify thinness.

your entire life. Unlearning internalised fatphobia. It's a practice, this is the first step. I kind of see it as a once you see it you can't unsee it moment. I think that a lot about these spaces that are very cult-like and the ways in which they are constantly perpetuating the same narratives. I've talked about this in terms of hustle culture and in the online business coaching community that I was once a part of.

It's the same kind of stuff, right? Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Once you realize how unbelievably harmful it is, at that point you have a choice. And I like to think that if you're listening to this show, you've already made that choice. You will realize how systemic fatphobia and weight bias are across society. Trust me, it sucks. But there's also something incredibly refreshing about realizing your body was never.

and isn't the problem. And by unlearning your internalized fatphobia, you begin to recognize fatphobia, anti-fatness and weight discrimination in other areas of your own lives. You have the power to change things, especially if you are a listener in a smaller body. If your body carries privilege within society, we need your advocacy across society, right? We need you to support us because we know

that people are more likely to listen to you. Do I think that you should drown out the voices of fat folks? Absolutely not. But I do think that we need your voices to elevate us, right? We need your voices to elevate the most marginalized people within society.

If you are looking for more resources, I encourage you to subscribe to the Culture of It All over on Substack. Head to CultureOfItAllPod.Substack/subscribe. There is a free or paid option. You'll get access to bonus resources and content I create. Every episode will arrive in your inbox on a Tuesday morning.

and can listen in the Substack app from your email or your favourite podcast player.