[REPLAY] Summer Series: 5 Summer Survival Tips From A Fat Gal

As I write this, it’s currently a gloomy summer day. The damp tension is in the air, a promise of thunderstorms and cooler temperatures just outside my office window. And whilst I impatiently wait for the real thing, I have a ‘Summer Storm’ soundscape playing on Insight Timer. 

Gloomy weather is my vibe.

My soul craves cosiness, even in the warmer months and over the past few years I’ve discovered ways that I can embrace my love of all things Autumn, and it helps me survive the summer.

This week I’m bringing you another wonderful episode from last year's Summer Series, 5 Summer Survival Tips From A Fat Gal! 

Chapters:

00:00 Welcome
07:18 Tip One: Manage Your Expectations
10:41 Tip Two: Practise Taking Up Space
14:52 Tip Three: Do Things That Bring You Joy, Coziness and Happiness
18:04 Tip Four: Embrace Comfort
19:30 Tip Five: Start Small & Be Gentle With Yourself
21:09 Checking In With Yourself & Journal Prompts

Come say 'hello' on social media!

You'll find episode content on Instagram stories.

Looking for more conversations around the politics of fashion? Join me on TikTok

Support the show over on Substack! You'll find regular episodes along with monthly bonus episodes in our wonderful fat positive community.

Transcript

Melanie Knights [she/they] (00:00)
Hello friends, welcome back to the culture of it all. Hello, my plus size pals. Hello everybody. And if you are new here, thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. I am bringing you another replay from last year's summer series. This week, I'm sharing five summer survival tips from a fat gal. A fat gal is me. And yeah, these tips are things that

I notice I really get the urge to embrace as the weather starts heating up. As I'm recording this, it is a gloomy summer day. ⁓ It is glorious. I am happy. I am thrilled. It is raining. We're expecting thunderstorms later. There is nothing I love more than a thunderstorm. And it is a gloomy, gloomy day. And it's perfect as far as I'm concerned. But yes, the weather is getting warmer.

and the heat will be back. And as I've shared already in our previous episode, fat bodies deserve comfort too. Fat bodies deserve comfort too. And there are ways in which we can attempt to get through this warmer weather. But one thing that I kind of mentioned in this episode, but I do wanna just kind of mention upfront is like,

We don't have to cover up.

we don't have to cover up our bodies. I know that there are a lot of fat phobic people out here who will act disgusted by our bodies, but the reality is that we do not have to cover up and that is their problem and not ours. And I know that it is not simple and I don't say that lightly because I know that there are real barriers for

us being able to access clothing and I also know that even when I was in a smaller body I was way more insecure about myself and the way I looked. I was also like, I wouldn't have worn shorts or bra tops, you know, like sports bras or bralettes, like I wouldn't have worn those around even the house.

I would have still felt like I had to cover up. And it wasn't because anybody was expecting me to, it's because I expected me to. My internalized fatphobia meant that I wasn't willing to wear less clothes. I felt as though I needed to cover up, even in my own house. And...

Yeah, but I just know how different I feel now about that and

I just shared a video or a series of photos, I guess, over on TikTok. It's kind of a trending, um, trending sound and trending video, which is pictures of yourself from 2017. And I shared it and so many people were like, I didn't know who this was. And then your face came up and I was like, wait, what? Um, because in 2017 I was...

deep deep deep in diet culture, I was working in the health and fitness industry. I was deeply unhappy and yeah, a lot changes. So anyway, I just wanted to say that and it just really reminded me how interesting it is and I haven't talked about this too much yet, but how interesting it is that I was so much more insecure when I was in a smaller body.

And there are so many things that I didn't do or wouldn't wear when I was in a smaller body because my insecurities were rooted in internalised fatphobia. Whereas now I know that my insecurities are not my own and also fuck it. So yeah, all of that. Now, before we get into today's replay episode, I do want to share a quick reminder that you can subscribe.

to the Culture of It All over on Substack by heading to cultureofitallpod.substack.com forward slash subscribe and choosing the free or paid plan. Subscribers get early access to episodes, regular bonuses, inclusive creative resources, blogs, videos and more. You can also follow the show over on Instagram at Culture of It All Pod where I share episode updates and the stories, my fat thoughts and the odd Aquarius meme. And you can join me over on TikTok.

at Melanie Knights where we discuss plus size fashion without the diet talk, body image, parenting and fat acceptance.

Melanie Knights [she/they] (05:06)
You're listening to the Culture of It All podcast, the show where we explore what it really means to ditch diet culture whilst living life in a larger body. I'm your host, Melanie Knights, and each episode I'll be sharing stories.

busting diet myths and breaking through the bullshit of a multi-billion dollar industry that's designed to fail. So that we can take up space, challenge weight stigma and live a more confident, comfortable and joyful fat life. So, are you ready to challenge the culture of it all? Let's do this.

Hello friends, welcome back to The Culture For All. This is episode six and it's our second step into our summer series. And today I am so excited to share this with you and to talk about these five summer survival tips from a fat girl, that fat girl being me. I cannot wait to dive in. Before I do that, I've got a few things I want to talk about. Firstly, I want to say a massive thank you. You'll have been really supporting the show.

supporting this summer series, sharing it with your friends and peers and whomever. And I really, really appreciate it. A year ago, as I think I've probably already said a year ago, I started to explore different ways to take care of my body. I explored hygiene and simple self-care as a plus size person or someone with a larger body. And I just remember thinking

did I go 36 years not knowing this stuff? And I kept thinking there must be other people who don't know this too, and that kind of pisses me off, right? That really pisses me off. But I wasn't ready to share my part of that. I wasn't ready to talk about my own experiences or journey. I had dipped my toe in a little bit. I had shared about my intuitive eating journey, but I wasn't ready to really have these conversations a year ago.

And so the fact that back in February I was sitting in my office procrastinating and listening to an episode of Maintenance Phase and I suddenly said to myself, well, it's just the culture of it all. And in that moment I knew, in that moment I knew that I was ready. I was ready to have these conversations. I was ready to put myself out there because that was something

I mean, I'm still a little bit afraid of it, but it was something I've been afraid of for the past eight years. For those of you who don't know, I started trying to build a business eight years ago. And I say started trying to build a business because building an online business and growing an online business, it's not as easy as everyone wants you to think it is. It's not as easy as people make out it, make it out to be. And I've had some great...

moments. I've had some real highs, I've had some moments where I felt very successful, and I've had some real real lows. One of the biggest highs, weirdly enough, came in 2020 when my business grew exponentially and I was making money that I'd only dreamed of. But I was also working all the time and

At end of that year I got COVID and I remember just thinking, I can't do this anymore. I guess I thought this is what I wanted, but it really isn't. And the money might be great, but how am I ever going to take time off? How am I ever going to spend time with my family or go on holiday again when inevitably that will happen, we will be able to go on holiday again? And slowly but surely I divested from that.

business model and moved away from what I was doing. And I guess then I found a love, I found myself spending a few years really just doing lots of different things. ⁓ I did camera graphics, I wrote content, I then freelanced for a couple of years. And I'm really, really fortunate and privileged that I'm able to do that and to be able to have that experience of

not necessarily knowing where my next income is going to come from and being able to take that time to explore. What I know for certain is that

This year I knew I was ready to almost take a complete 180 from where I started eight years ago. I haven't talked about this too much on the show and I want to do a whole episode, I guess I just don't know how to approach it. When I started my business eight years ago I was selling intentional weight loss. I didn't call it that because I thought I was so much better than the diet industry and I really wasn't. ⁓

That feels really interesting to look back at. It feels really interesting to look back at the past eight years to see myself have this complete 180 from where I was eight years ago, what I was selling and promoting and the content I was creating. And then eight years later to be sitting here talking about the very industry that I was a part of and to be able to see it for what it is.

I think that's what always astounds me, is like, how did I not see this? But you only know what you know, right? So when you've grown up in it, it's all you see. So yeah, I just wanted to say thank you, because it's felt like a bit of a whirlwind. It feels like it's been five minutes since I started this.

and also feels like it's been something I've always been doing. So I really, really appreciate your support and the fact that you enjoy listening. So thank you for being here. So before we get into this episode, I did want to just mention that to celebrate our summer series so that we can continue having more conversations about personal hygiene and self-care in relation to larger bodies. I have put together a bonus episode over on Substack. It is available on all tiers, including free, and you can listen in by subscribing to the show over on Substack. You'll get access to this content.

And in this episode, I walk you through my personal hygiene routine, discuss products I use, how they work, and I share my thoughts on the products too. If you would like to grab this bonus episode, you can head over to cultureforallpod.substack.com forward slash subscribe. So this is our second installment of our summer series, right? For the next three months, I will be sharing everything with you from my body acceptance and self-advocacy journey to my favourite products and routines.

because I cannot control the weather. The summer isn't going anywhere and it's probably only going to get hotter. And I refuse to feel ashamed for being a hot fat sweaty person. I decide that I'm gonna take back this summer. I wanna reclaim it. Even if I don't enjoy it, I wanna make it as comfortable as possible because we deserve comfort too. In our last episode, we talked all about self-advocacy and how that can lead to body acceptance.

talked about the body acceptance spectrum, we looked at different versions of body acceptance and body positivity. And today we're going to be exploring five summer survival tips. I don't have any content warnings for you today. As always, if we hit a topic and it is triggering, please feel free to sit it out.

I think that's everything, so let's get into this. So, five summer survival tips. The first one is to manage our expectations. I think this This is a really big one. There is so much pressure to do lots of things during the summer. So much pressure. And...

I had to ask myself if I can just adjust my expectations and really honour what I need in that moment rather than trying to chase that kind of summertime high or that summertime bliss. think, I'm guessing it's the same everywhere, I can only share from my own experience, but here in the UK there is like

There's this like shift of energy that happens during the warmer months. And growing up, I felt like there was so much pressure to be outside, so much pressure to be out with friends. And I am very much someone who likes to be in my own space. I'm an introvert most of the time. I am a bit of a homebody. That's more so since COVID. And

I just really, really like my own space and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. And I don't mind doing things, but I have to manage my expectations. Also, I have to manage my expectations in relation to getting how much I'm going to get done when the weather is warmer. I might not be able to do things at the same pace that I normally can. So be gentle with ourselves and be okay with adjusting our routines or

how much we can or can't do. You don't have to suffer, right? You don't have to suffer. This comes from the belief that fatness is a choice and that if fatness is a choice then we deserve to be uncomfortable. But that's not true. All bodies are good bodies, all bodies deserve respect and we're allowed to take care of ourselves without having to change ourselves first. One of the things I try to think about during

the warmer months is kind of taking care of myself in the way that I would take care of my kid. My kid is still fairly dependent on me. And I found myself on occasion making sure that he has all the things he needs and then forgetting the basics for myself. So I tried to think about if I'm taking water for him, then I'm taking water for myself. If I'm taking snacks for him, take snacks for myself. That was something that I worked on.

with my intuitive eating coach is, again, forgetting to take care of myself, forgetting to honour what I need, but making sure that everyone else is okay. yeah, treat yourself as if maybe you'd like consider your younger version of you. What do you need when you're navigating these warmer summer months?

And I know that food especially can be super complicated for many folks, myself included, but just remember that you still deserve to be nourished and you can be gentle with yourself as you navigate the warmer weather. The second tip I have for you is to practice taking up space. I feel like this is a really interesting one because we talk about taking up space with our larger bodies in terms of

energetically, Showing our lights and shining bright and all those kinds of things. But when you're in a larger body, think practice and taking up space is really interesting because we physically take up more space. You know, we physically take up more space. And I think it's important to be doing both, right? Absolutely. Shine your light and be bright, but...

can be really hard when society treats you like you're invisible even though you physically take up more space. Some of the ways I've practiced taking up more space myself is wearing less clothes around my home, nurturing that relationship with myself first, especially getting ready for the summer, warmer months. This can be a really gentle way to prepare yourself mentally.

for wearing less clothing outside of the house. And this is something I thought about recently because in the summer months when it's warmer I do spend a lot of time in like little bralettes or shorts. Now I wouldn't wear those necessarily in public. That's not something I would feel comfortable doing. But there's also a time where I wouldn't have even worn that around my own home. I wouldn't have felt comfortable wearing less clothing physically.

emotionally. But as I have built this relationship with myself and nourished that relationship, nurtured that relationship, I'm willing to push those boundaries. I'm willing to wear less clothes, A, to stay more comfortable around my own home, and also just to build that relationship with myself and remind myself that it's okay for me to take up that space, kind of physically take that space up within myself.

And there are some things that I've practiced over time, you know, knowing that my body is fat, my body is large, whether I hide my stomach or not, right, whether my stomach outline is visible or not, my arms are fat, whether I cover them or not, my body is literally big enough that people can see it. They might ignore me because of my size, but I'm still visible to them even if they don't like it. And if they don't like it...

That is their work to do, not mine. Are there still areas of my body that I won't show? Absolutely. There are ways in which I will dress because it protects me. It's a way of protecting myself. I don't feel comfortable showing certain parts of my body.

But over time I have become more comfortable with pushing those boundaries, my own personal boundaries. I'm more willing to challenge the stereotypes of folks in larger bodies in the summer. I have practiced challenging those stereotypes and I also practice having like backup plans. ⁓

know, if it's adjusting, again adjusting my expectations, adjusting my expectations of maybe an outfit so that I can feel safer. I talked about dressing safely in a previous episode, but for example if wearing a summer dress that is short feels a little bit like too much, maybe I will pair it with a t-shirt. Maybe I'll wear a loose fitting oversized shirt or something over the top so that I feel like I have

exceptions, and I don't have to feel as visible even though I am visible. I guess it's also managing my visibility in a way that feels safe for me on any given day. The third survival tip I have for you is to do things that bring you joy, bring you coziness, and bring you happiness.

When we feel uncomfortable, it's so easy to feel like that frustration is never ending. We know that inevitably the weather will cool down at some point. There are things that we can do if we prioritize joy and they will allow us to feel a little bit more like ourselves. Maybe it's a book that you loved as a teenager.

a nostalgic movie or a TV show or blasting your favourite music. I tend to cycle through re-watching my favourite teen shows that I grew up with. Dillmore Girls, Dawson's Creek, One Tree Hill. That is the TV that I grew up with. Some of my favourite nostalgic movies. Like The Labyrinth, 10 Things I Hate About You, Scream. These things just make me really happy. And

There is comfort in knowing what to expect. There is comfort in knowing how it all ends. Janis Joplin is one of my favourite summertime artists. On a warm rainy day I open the windows, I light some incense and I just crank up the volume and like it just it's... that is a moment for me. I absolutely love that feeling.

I've really found myself trying to find cosiness during the summer months. It's really hard sometimes, it can feel really weird to want to be cosy. I can't necessarily be wearing cosy socks and sweaters or hugging under a blanket, but my favourite season is autumn and I am a big fan of all things spooky. Yes, get ready for spooky season because in this house it starts in August.

But I added a lot of spooky and dark and autumn decor to my home office. My home office is like my space in our house. And I did that last summer because I really wanted to embrace the season that I love and so that it was present all year round. During the summer months I'll watch horror movies or spooky TV shows. And this year my family and I are going to host a summer ween. Lighting candles.

And in a sense, it just gives me those cool weather vibes. Those are things that make me feel really cosy. Those are things that make me feel joyful and happy. Whatever it is for you, I encourage you to find those things and consider the ways in which you can bring them into the summer months. And if you're looking for some inspiration for summer reads, books that you can...

get all cosy with this summer. have a bonus episode going out on Substack this month with five of my favourite summer reads that also happen to have plus size female main characters. So that is your jam. Make sure you head over to Substack. So my fourth summer survival tip for you is to embrace comfort. Remember that you deserve to be comfortable too.

You get to show as much or as little skin as you feel comfortable with. I encourage you to choose clothing that feels comfortable in hot weather. It maybe also feels safe to dress in.

and choose colours or styles that you could also layer in other seasons. It doesn't have to feel uncomfortable, it doesn't have to feel risky.

Right, choosing things that are comfortable for you means figuring out what's uncomfortable as well, right, establishing what is comfortable and what is uncomfortable, creating those boundaries for yourself and then embracing what is going to bring you more comfort.

Comfort can also look like proper hydration, getting enough rest, wearing sunscreen. If you're already uncomfortable, adding sunburn to that is not going to be fun. So I always try to add sunscreen to my morning routine when I know I'm going to be out in the sun and I apply SPF 30 to my pale face all year round. My fifth and final tip is to start with small steps and be gentle with yourself.

You do not have to do all the things this summer. You get to choose, right? Pick the low-hanging fruit. Take the steps that feels like they'll make the biggest impact to you. Maybe it's buying one piece of clothing in a natural material or a loose dress and some anti-friction shorts. Or perhaps it's practicing gentle nutrition and making sure that you feel nourished this summer.

Maybe it's simply managing your expectations and honouring what you need throughout the summer months.

For me, last summer it was shorts. I bought a number of pairs of shorts. I have a weird relationship with shorts. To be honest, that relationship is still existing. I don't know how I feel about them. I wear them, but I don't love them. They're not the most comfortable thing for me. I also spent last summer testing out new body care products, something that I've embraced throughout the last 12 months. And now I get to share it with you guys.

Now that I feel like I figured out that part, I'm practicing taking up more space, wearing clothing that actually makes me happy and keeps me cooler.

But you get to decide what that looks like for you. Start with small steps. Just pick one thing. Be gentle with yourself. So there you have it. Maybe these tips are a little surprising, but these are five ways we can survive the summer. These are things I've tried and I continue to embrace as we move into summer here. But as the 97 hit song said, trust me on the sunscreen.

So finally, I encourage you to check in with yourself. I feel like this is probably the sixth summer survival tip, but honestly, this tip is good all year round. Check in with yourself. Journal. Sit with your questions or thoughts. Give yourself five minutes to sit quietly. Journaling is a great way of taking time out for yourself and reflecting on your thoughts.

feelings and experiences, it can be used as a form of meditation and it can relieve stress but it doesn't have to look a certain way. Personally I love stationary, it is one of my favourite things in the world. It brings me so much joy, I probably should have mentioned that in my embrace joy tip. Washi tapes, pens, notebooks, I love it all. But not everybody does. Also it's not always accessible.

So just know that when I talk about journaling, journaling doesn't have to look a certain way. I feel like for a lot of us, journaling can be super crunchy at times. I know for a long time I struggled with journaling. I felt like it had to look a certain way. I felt like it had to be full of gratitude lists, which is something I just don't really vibe with. So just find what works for you.

I encourage you to think about the questions I share with you in each episode and I have three channel prompts for you today to help you navigate this summer. The first is how do I feel about my summer wardrobe? What do I currently have that I like and that I don't like?

The second prompt is how can I manage my expectations of the summer? This is season full of socialising, sunshine, and sometimes we inflate our expectations. When our expectations don't align with what is realistically possible, we can end up disappointed or frustrated. So how can I manage my expectations of the summer?

And my third and final prompts for you today is what did I enjoy doing as a kid on summer break that I rarely do anymore?

I remember the memory of hearing the ice cream truck, so whenever my kid sees the truck and asks, I try to always say yes, within reason. But I try to always say yes, because it feels so nostalgic.

So there you have it friends, five summer survival tips, three journal prompts for you. I hope that you have enjoyed today's episode and I will see you next time.

Melanie Knights [she/they] (30:01)
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Culture For All. Thank you for being here for this replay. I hope you enjoyed listening back to this as much as I did. And I hope that you are finding some comfort and some ways in which you can stay cool and comfortable during this hot weather. Next week, I will be back with a brand new episode. Yes, a brand new episode.

I'm going to be sharing with you three unexpected lessons from ditching diets. I always talk about this, that ditching diet culture brings with it so many lessons that have nothing to do with food. They have nothing to do with movement. And that is because diet culture is inevitably not really about food and movement.

It's about control and about creating a system of beliefs that has us constantly chasing.

patriarchal beauty standards, standards that are unrealistic and constantly changing, they constantly move the goalposts. And when we realize that it is never about our bodies and our body was never the problem

And also what I would say is that when we are solely focused on how we look, it is very hard to give other things our full attention. So next week we're going to be talking about these three unexpected lessons from ditching diets. ⁓

I'm also going to just talk a little bit about how dieting affects our entire lives. I'm looking forward to sitting down and recording it for you and sharing it with you next week. I hope you've enjoyed these last two weeks of replays. Thank you so much for bearing with me as I have got back into a creative headspace. I appreciate it so much and I'll see you next time.